My End-Of-Year Resolution

by Wanda on December 29, 2014

How ’bout that list you made last year? Not the one for Santa- I’m talking about the one with all the things you planned for the New Year? The weight you were going to lose? The money you were going to save? The DIY home improvements you were going to make? The books you were going to read? Need I go on? How did that all work out for you? I’m pleased to report that although there are plenty of things that did not get crossed off my list, it was not a total bust. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m happy to say that I can look back and see the ways in which I’m a better person today than I was last year at this time. And at the end of the day (year!), that’s what really counts. Don’t misunderstand me, though; while I can see the progress I’ve made, I am in no way the perfect specimen of humanity. There’s always room for improvement and I hope that at the end of next year I’ll be able to say that I’ve become a better person than I am today. Which is my point. We make these lists of how we want to be better in the new year, and sometimes our goals are manageable. Other times, they are completely unrealistic, which is bound to set us up for failure. Which gets us depressed, disappointed, and unmotivated. And so the cycle continues… This year, I want to try a new strategy. Call it an End-of-Year Resolution. I want to look myself in the eye and be honest about who I am. Do I think I should wake up before dawn six days a week for a ten-mile run? Yes, I do. Do I think I can pull that off? Absolutely not! So my strategy involves being realistic, which means not making any resolutions that sound remotely like waking up six days a week for a pre-dawn ten-mile run. It is important to me to exercise more, so I’m going to spend a few minutes thinking about the best way to make that happen for me. If it’s something I can do, there’s a better chance I’ll make the effort to do it. And I’m going to think about what really needs to be done, anyway. Just because everyone else is juicing and eating quinoa and being all righteous about it, does it really mean that that’s something I should push myself to do? Uh, no. I don’t think that’s the pinnacle of healthy living so it won’t be on my list. Here’s what I’m trying to say: Don’t try to measure up to the expectations of others, and don’t put things on your list just because other people have put them on theirs. Be true to yourself, and most importantly, love yourself. Then, build on that to make you the best you that you can be, by setting attainable goals and congratulating yourself along the way for each success. Happy New Year, everyone!

Just Say No!

by Wanda on December 22, 2014

It’s almost impossible to resist. How can you really be expected to have the will power to keep it under control, especially this time of year, when it’s in your face all the time, and you know already that it’s only going to get worse? I’m not talking about fattening holiday treats here- that’s a whole other topic, and I am probably not the best equipped to advise on that at the moment. I am the biggest sucker for holiday cookies and they seem to have taken over the world right now. You know those crunchy sugar cookies with the colorful sugar? They get me every time! No, what I’m talking about now is shopping.

Everybody wants a good deal, and businesses know how to play to that. Every year, from way before Black Friday, through the New Year, we’re bombarded with advertising telling us about can’t-miss sales on products we must have. And they do such a good job, don’t they? I mean, I bet you never realized how badly you wanted that 30th sweater this winter, until they got to you. It’s a great sweater, and you have two already, because when you first saw it, you had a coupon and it looked like the perfect sweater to keep you warm all winter. And it’s so stylish, too, so you might as well buy it in two colors, right? And that was okay- we’ve all been there. The problem is that you already have two of them, but then you walk into the store and it’s been marked down to half-price, plus, you can take an extra 25% off sale items. And you have the coupon they mailed you, trying to lure you into shopping some more. With free shipping for online orders. And it works, because there you are, ready to buy that sweater again in a third and fourth color. NO, YOU’RE NOT!!! You’re going to resist this one!

You might still have some last minute gifts to get, so you should definitely take advantage of whatever deals you find and try to save some money where ever you can. But don’t let yourself fall into the trap where you buy things you don’t need, or even want, just because they’re on sale. I’m not exaggerating at all when I say that my inbox is stuffed with about 100 emails telling me to “Save an extra 50%!” or “Get this now! Offer ends at midnight!” So I’ve started just deleting them without even opening. I try not to read the subject line, because, can I really read “No code needed: save an extra 50% on all sale item, plus free shipping!” and just delete? It’s also a good idea to stay away from malls and shopping areas, because everything looks so good. But because sometimes you need to indulge, don’t beat yourself up if you do get taken in by the temptation. Ask yourself if you really want what you’re buying, and think hard about whether it really is a good buy. If the answers to both questions are yes, go for it and pat yourself on the back for getting a really good deal. Then take it all the way and celebrate with a delicious sugar-sprinkled cookie!

Giving and Getting Part II

by Wanda on December 16, 2014

Let’s assume we’re all on the same page: There’s nothing like getting a gift, but giving is nice, too. And, you’re going to be very organized about it this year, so it’ll be a lot easier and a much better experience than it has been. If only I followed my own advice! I should have gotten this post out earlier so it could be a bigger help to more people, but let’s not focus on what could have been. There’s still time to avoid a mad dash for gifts, so let’s continue.

So, you’ve made your lists, you’ve checked them twice. Sorry- couldn’t help myself there. Okay, back to business! The lists: you know who to shop for and you have some idea of what to get each of your “giftees.” You’ve organized lists of gift categories so you can stay focused, and now it’s time to get into the trenches. You might think you’ll save time if you plan to shop from home, but don’t we all know how easy it is to get sucked into the time vacuum when you’re shopping on line? Who among us can honestly say they never wasted two hours just buying shampoo from Target.com? Right, thought so! So budget time for shopping and stick to it. If you go out to stores, know what to expect based on when and where you plan to go and be patient. I’m talking to all of us, especially myself, when I say “KEEP IT TOGETHER!” It can be crazy out there! Take a water bottle so you don’t get dehydrated. I mean it- shopping for hours can be like running a marathon!

Once you can cross everything off your list, take a deep breath and do a happy dance. You deserve it! You’re done with the hard part and all you have to do now is just finish up. Hopefully, you were able to order most gifts wrapped or get them wrapped in the store. If not, maybe you’re one those smart, organized people who always has a stash of wrapping supplies on hand. Or maybe you were smart enough to include wrapping supplies in your shopping. Either way, get to work on that wrapping and soon you’ll be all done. Then, sit back and relax and look forward to the happy faces of your loved ones opening the gifts you’ve so thoughtfully prepared for them. (And hopefully opening a few good ones yourself!) And if all else fails- remember there are always gift cards! You can run to your local Walgreen’s or similar store and choose from a large selection. Tie them with a festive ribbon and that’s a great holiday gift anyone can enjoy! Happy Holidays!

Giving And Getting

by Wanda on December 4, 2014

“It is better to give than to receive.” Who made up that saying anyway? When you’re talking about gifts, everyone knows it’s way better to receive. That’s why we make wish lists, that’s why we dream, that’s why we drop hints to the people in our lives who we hope will give us gifts. Hopefully, we’ll all receive some good ones this holiday season. But it is true that giving gifts can be exciting, too, just in a different way. There is something to be said for watching the reactions of your loved ones when they open the gifts that you’ve carefully selected for them. Especially if you put a lot of thought into it. It’s always nice to know your efforts paid off and are appreciated.

Giving is nice because it proves that we are not totally self-centered. There is more meaning to life in a world where giving and sharing are priorities, and who are we as a society if we don’t look out for those in need? So it’s important to get our priorities in order and understand what really matters. Each of us should do our part to help out. Beyond that, though, it is gift giving season, and we’re all going to have to come up with some good ones for our friends and families. Some times you know exactly what you want to give each person in your life. Others, you draw a complete blank. There are some years when I find myself on a roll, just crossing off everyone on my list right away. Done, and done. Then there are the years where I find myself surfing from site to site and also literally plodding from store to store and I can’t ever seem to find the perfect gifts. I know we’ve all been there. Some planning can help to prevent that kind of frustration and eliminate (or at least alleviate) the stress so that giving this year is truly enjoyable and fulfilling for you.

Start by making a list. For real. I mean, write down names on paper or in notes in your phone or tablet- not just in your head. This will give you a realistic idea of what you need to accomplish. I keep all my notes and lists on my phone because I always have it with me, but I have to say that there is something very satisfying about writing lists on paper and then triumphantly crossing things off as you do them! If you have rough ideas about what you want to give anybody, write that down, too, because that can help guide you in your shopping. You might see that you have similar ideas for a few people, so you can shop in the same place for all of them and save yourself some time. List categories to help keep you organized and simplify planning. Categories might include: toys, kitchen, jewelry, games, food, books. You know your people. Try to think about what they’d like to get, but don’t think too hard. With a little bit of thought you’ll probably be on the right track, and if you include a gift receipt, almost anything can be exchanged. Keep reminding yourself that the idea this year is to make gift giving and getting a good experience for everyone, so no stressing!

Where Is It?

by Wanda on December 1, 2014

“Mom, where’s my school bag?!?” “Mom, where are my shoes?!?” “Honey, where are my car keys?!?” Every woman has heard a version of these desperate cries for help. Why can’t kids and husbands find anything? I’m sure I can’t be the only woman whose husband asks where the milk is. I’m not making that up! I wonder if he really forgets that the milk is always in the fridge, or if he really can’t find it in there unless I pinpoint its exact location.

Most of the time these “hiding” items are actually right there in plain sight. If my adorable and otherwise bright child would only move aside the book that’s blocking her view, she would easily find her “missing” headband. Maybe our families love us so much and only ask us to find their things as ways to get in some extra interaction. Hah! I can flatter myself, but let’s be honest- they’re probably just lazy! Most of the time the missing object is easily located by ME and my superpowers in mostly obvious places. I’m sure it’s like that in your homes, too. Once in a while, though, things are found in the strangest places.

Yesterday, I was driving around with my daughter sitting in the backseat. She was all set up for our little trip. Snack- check! Drink- check! Tablet- check! But she wanted a song from my phone so I passed it back and she held on to it. I was driving so I didn’t need it with me anyway. We had a nice time together- we talked, we sang along with the music- and then we arrived at my sister’s house to spend the day with her family.

I parked and we got ready to get out of the car. “Mom, did I give your phone back to you?” Amanda asked. “No.” “Are you sure? I don’t see it here,” she said. “Of course you don’t!” I thought to myself. I told her I’d come back and I’d find it in five seconds. I came around to the backseat, expecting to see my phone as soon as I opened the door. But where was it? I looked under the seats, under all the gloves and snacks on the seats, in between the seats, under the armrest, between the seats and the armrest. I looked everywhere and I didn’t see my phone! I couldn’t believe it- I have superpowers, remember? Where could it be? We hadn’t gotten out of the car, or even opened any doors or windows; I knew it had to still be in there, so why couldn’t I find it? The mystery was driving me crazy!

How do you find a phone you can’t find? You call it, of course! I went to the house and asked my sister to call my phone, then went back to the car to listen for its ring. Sure enough, I heard my phone ringing- it sounded like it was coming from under the bag of pretzels Amanda had been snacking on. I could swear that I’d already looked there, but I moved the bag anyway, and felt it vibrating! Huh? I opened the bag, and there was my phone! It had slid off the armrest and fell into the open bag of pretzels! We’re all still laughing, and next time someone in my house can’t find something, I’ll make sure to look in a pretzel bag.

Black Friday

by Wanda on November 25, 2014

Black Friday! Such a depressing sounding name for such a happy occasion! I mean, it’s a shopping day, right- and what’s happier than shopping? I know, it’s not about the mood, it’s about stores getting their financial situations out of the red and into the black after doing such great sales volume, but still, I’m sure they could have come up with a more joyous sounding name for this day. Everyone’s excited. From all the hype it almost seems like most of the country has been counting down to Black Friday more than Thanksgiving itself. I read about a guy who set up a camper outside a Best Buy in California. He’s been there since the beginning of the month! Is that a sane thing to do? I say no, but I hope he gets something good because that kind of dedication deserves a reward.

I am not one to turn down good shopping, and certainly not good sale shopping, but I don’t see myself camping out to be first in line to get into a great sale. I can’t afford the time, for one thing, and I think there are way better ways to score good Black Friday deals and still carry on with your normal life for the month of November. I think you can even enjoy Thanksgiving Day with your family and still take advantage of some great sales.

Here are some ideas that help me keep it manageable:

Know what you want to buy. Then, look around and see who has the best sales on those things, as well as the most reasonable shopping hours.
Know what you want to buy. Stay level-headed and focus on what you came shopping for. You’ll avoid spending too much money and dealing with too much clutter at home.
Have a plan; decide where you want to go first and if you’re shopping with other people it might be a good idea to divide and conquer- everyone gets a different department to cover.
Know each store’s return policy. Sometimes you change your mind; sometimes what you bought doesn’t really look that great once you get it home; sometimes you just get caught up in the excitement and frenzy of Black Friday and buy things you don’t even want.
If the store has a good return policy and if you’re buying clothes, take them home to try on. You won’t have to wait on long lines for fitting rooms and you’ll be able to think more clearly away from the madness.
Bypass the madness entirely and shop online!

I think I like the last option best! No lines, no violence, and I can shop in my pajamas! You can’t beat that, can you?

Personal Space

by Wanda on November 20, 2014

Please allow me to rant a little: Did you ever have someone invade your personal space? It’s the worst! OMG!!! I was on line to pay in a store. The line was moving, and it wasn’t too crowded- there was enough room for everyone to be comfortable. It wasn’t like we were on a New York City subway train at rush hour- not even close! It was completely unnecessary to breathe down the neck of the person in front of you. Completely! But that guy kept on closing in. Every time I moved away, he moved closer. I don’t even think he was trying to make any moves on me; I think he was just being socially clueless.

The rules of society are generally understood by most people, and they should be taken seriously- right? And one of those rules is respecting other people’s space. It’s an important rule and it comes into play in many ways; one of them is maintaining the proper distance between two people waiting in line! I’m a sociable, friendly person. You might even say that I’m a “people person.” I like to spend time with my friends, I like to meet new people and get to know them- I’m a nice person, really! But stand too close to me and I will lose it! I know I’m using a lot of exclamation points, and I hope that doesn’t set the tone of this blog at “hysterical,” but I did warn that this is a rant.

I wonder why personal space is so important. Do we feel threatened when someone else gets too close? Maybe an evolutionary survival thing? Is it a sensory thing- like we need a certain amount of space around us in order to feel comfortable? Who knows? Who cares, really, anyway? It doesn’t matter why it’s important, as long as we respect each other’s need for it. And I know it’s not just me because there’s a lot written about personal space, and a whole slew of funny videos on Youtube. This is my favorite!

The Shirt You’ve Got To Have!

by Wanda on November 10, 2014

You’re reading this title, and you’re either thinking: “What’s hot this season? Tell me, tell me, I need to know” or “Don’t tell me what clothes I have to have- I can decide for myself, thank you very much!” Some of us believe in the trends and need to follow them. Others like to observe and absorb by ourselves, feel out the trends,and then decide what speaks to us individually. Some people like to take fashion advice from the “experts,” and some people simply don’t like to be told what to do. And who are the “experts” who decide what the must-haves are, anyway? I guess the simple answer is that it all starts at Fashion Week (who’s a Project Runway fan? Me! Me!) and trickles down from there.

Very few fashions that make their way down the runway can really be worn in real life. More importantly, they can’t really be purchased by most people in real life- I mean, how many of us can drop a few thousand dollars for a dress? I will boldly and confidently answer, “Not that many!” So the clothes that influence the hot trends each season have to be adapted for real life and real wallets. You’ll see blogs and ads all over the place proclaiming something along the lines of “The shirt you’ve got to have!” And they’re good, so that soon enough, you start to think that you do really have to have it. Often, though, the shirt you see is not that much different from the shirt you already have because it was “the shirt you’ve got to have!” last year. But hey, everyone’s got to make a living and retailers do that by you buying new stuff. And who doesn’t want new stuff?

There’s nothing wrong with buying new stuff- just be smart about it. If the hot new trend doesn’t really look like a major update from last year’s hot new trend, chances are it probably isn’t and you should spend your money on something else. Look around and see what will make you feel the most updated and fashion forward and then decide how to spend your fashion dollars. And even when the chatter is all about how hot something is and how badly you need to wear it, you might find that a particular trend or fashion item doesn’t really speak to you- and that’s okay. You like to look good and fashionable, but that doesn’t mean you have to feel pressured to buy or wear something you don’t really like just because someone else proclaimed it a must-have. So, as always, be a smart shopper and don’t give in to the mind games the fashion industry likes to play. Click on this link for an entertaining cartoon, and remember that sometimes a white tee really is just a white tee!

The Coffee Table

by Wanda on October 28, 2014

Any Seinfeld fans out there? Remember the episode where Kramer has his clever idea for a coffee table book about coffee tables? I thought about this the other day because I found myself in need of a coffee table. Not just for decorating, though the room could use that, too. No, I really needed a table on which to put my coffee. My daughter and I were waiting for her carpool one morning and because it was chilly, and we were tired, we decided to wait inside by the window, sitting on the couch. Did I mention that I was tired? So it goes without saying that my coffee mug was there with us, too. And it being 2014, my iPhone, as well. At some point I needed two hands to play my game or open an email- it was early and I don’t remember which thing I was trying to do. The point is that I had to put my coffee down and there was no place for me to do that. “Wouldn’t it be great if I had a little table here by the couch,” I thought, “I would have someplace to put my coffee.” At that point, some caffeine must have kicked in and I thought “Oh…coffee table!” What a brilliant invention, and what a brilliant name for it!

So I get the whole coffee table thing now and I realize that I need one. For ages, I’ve thought that I should get something to put near the couch but I’m not good at making decisions and I never felt like spending money on what I always considered a nonessential piece of furniture. None of that has changed except that I now understand that a coffee table is actually an essential piece of furniture, so my search has begun. I still don’t think I need to spend too much, though, since there are so many places to buy really nice furniture without straining your wallet. I’ve also been doing my homework to get some good ideas about choosing the perfect one to fit my needs and my decor, so I have lots of tips to share.

Style is a matter of taste, so each coffee table buyer should look for what appeals to her and what goes well with the other furniture already in the room. Decide if you want your coffee table to also function as storage, and then you can find options with drawers or a shelf underneath. Ideally, a coffee table should be 18 inches away from the edge of a sofa or chair. This is close enough to put down a drink (coffee!) or magazine- or coffee table book ;)- but also roomy enough to stretch your legs. The height of a coffee table should be about one or two inches lower than the seat of your sofa. The standard height is usually 16-18 inches, but if you have a high sofa, you’ll need one a little higher. If you have small kids, a round table might be a good idea so that they won’t hurt themselves on sharp corners. Coffee table can be made of almost any material- wood, metal, glass- and this is also a style choice, although you should probably consider what is most practical for you. Lacquer is an exciting option because it comes in many colors. You might even want to make a boldly colored coffee table the focal point in your living room or den.

As far as inexpensive shopping venues, I can refer you to some classics. Overstock.com is always a good go-to place for interesting but reasonably priced furniture. Last I checked, Target had many choices in a range of prices, and I recently discovered Wayfair.com, a great source for stylish furniture and household items at prices that will make you happy.

Talking To Yourself

by Wanda on October 2, 2014

No, you’re not crazy! So you talk to yourself- there’s nothing wrong with that! In fact, it might actually be a very smart and helpful thing to do. Talking to yourself is always portrayed as a sign of madness, but that’s really inaccurate and unfair. Keep in mind that it can be a symptom of schizophrenia, so if you talk to voices you hear inside your head, it might be a good idea to check that out with a mental health professional. But if you are only speaking out loud to yourself, don’t worry- it’s very normal and even productive. We talk to ourselves for a variety of reasons. I know that if I’m trying to work out a problem, I often find myself talking out loud. I only realize it when people around me ask me to repeat myself and then I realize that articulating what’s going on and hearing myself speak really helps me figure things out. When you talk to yourself you are really just thinking out loud. Here are some other good things about talking to yourself:

Voicing positive affirmations can be a very effective way to boost self-confidence and achieve goals.
Studies show that talking to yourself while working at a complicated task keeps you focused and helps accomplish the task more efficiently.
Talking out loud is a great way to improve memory.
It’s a good tool to help manage anxiety and if you’re nervous or worried about something specific, talking to yourself can help you to calm yourself down.

Basically, what it comes down to is more sensory input to help the brain process what what’s going on. Want a fancy word for talking to yourself? Say that you’re soliloquizing and you’ll make it sound like it’s a thing. Which it is, really, anyway. You might want to keep your voice down in certain settings, but otherwise, soliloquize away and see how far it takes you.

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