How She Dropped Her Baby Weight in Record Time

by Wanda on December 10, 2012

I don’t know how it happened, but somehow I put on a few pounds last year. It might be that my metabolism is just slowing down with age (I’m somewhere between 21 and menopause, let’s just leave it at that.) Or it could be that the stresses of work and raising three kids. Whatever it was, I made the decision in September to get a gym membership and go 2-3 times per week. In two months, and I lost about 6 lbs. I was proud of myself, until I saw what my sister-in-law pulled off in about the same amount of time.

My sister-in-law and brother had their first child in late August, a beautiful boy which a head of huuuuge curly hair.

Basically what ny nephew looked like straight out of the the womb, glasses and all. (He’s way cuter than Danny Masterson, but the hair is the same.)

Sis-in-law was never in great shape, in fact, she could have stood to lose a few before she got pregnant. After pregnancy, she definitely had to do something. She and my brother live a bit far, but her and I kept each other filled in on our exercise commitment. She started following this “Paleo/Primal diet” thing that tells you to eat and exercise like a caveman. I thought it was just another fad (no offense to her, but tends to be a sucker for marketing).

This past Thanksgiving was the first time I’ve seen her since my nephew was born, and my jaw hit the floor. She lost over 20 lbs and is in better shape than I’ve ever seen. The only thing more obvious than my sister-in-law’s new hourglass figure, is my brother’s obnoxious grin. She claims to have never starved herself, and only worked out twice a week. I literally spent half of our Thanksgiving party asking her about her fad diet. She gave me some “Paleo rules,” that I thought I’d share. (Caveat: I don’t know how long she will keep the weight off, and some people say losing weight super-fast is unhealthy. All I’m saying is she looks amazing right now and this is how she said she did it.)

1. Get most of your calories from Healthy Fat and Protein

I thought this one was ridiculous, but a lot of online resources support this with scientific stuff that I’m not interested in enough to delve to deep into. Their rationale is that eating good fat trains your body to burn fat for energy, so your body will naturally burn fat more.

2. Avoid all processed starch (including bread, pasta, and even rice.)

Avoiding sugar and lots of carbs is obvious, but I was confused about the rice. The Paleo folks say that eating starches do the opposite of #1; they train your body to use carbs for energy, so you don’t burn as much fat naturally. They also said our genes are designed for wheat. Humans invented bread and pasta relatively recently, and our bodies haven’t evolved to digest it yet. That’s why so many people are allergic to wheat.

3. Do high-intensity workouts instead of slow cardio

They say that slow cardio trains your body to store fat for endurance. Sprinting and lifting weights is supposedly to turn fat into muscles because tells your body “I’m going to do intense stuff for short periods of time, so I don’t need extra fat.” That’s why sprinters have way less body fat than marathon runners.

Again, I’m not yet sold on this relatively new diet. But I’ve seen good things so far so I’m certainly exploring it. I just bought this book, The Primal Blueprint, which my sis recommended. I’m about a quarter of the way through, and it seems to make sense. Have any of you guys tried Paleo?

Telling Kids About Santa Claus

by Wanda on December 7, 2012

I made a point to never lie to my kids about anything. Even white lies. When I was little, my mom would often make up answers to my questions when she felt like it didn’t matter such as “why is the sky blue?” and “what do those white lines on my finger nails mean?” (I went many years thinking ‘blueness’ bounced up from the ocean.) Even though my mom meant the best in giving me an answer, it caused a loss of trust between her and I as I grew older.

Santa Claus is a big issue for the parents of young kids. On one hand, you want your kids to know the truth. The on the other hand, you don’t want to shatter their fantasies. On the other other hand, you want them to figure it out on their own. On the other other other hand, it’s cute to let them believe in a fat man that delivers presents.

Luckily my oldest is wise beyond his nine years and figured it out on his own without any help. One day he just said, “Mom, Santa can’t be at every kid’s house at midnight. And we don’t have a chimney. He must be fake.” Phew, that was easy. The only problem was that my smart Alec son tried to educate his siblings on how St. Nick is a fabrication, much to their resistance.

This put me in a pickle. My five year old came to me to confirm what her brother told her. My initial urge was to say that her brother was just teasing. But then an image similar to the picture above popped into my head. If I lied to her now, she would grow up to question everything I ever say about the really important stuff– all dreaded topics that come with the teenage years. So I let her face the facts. There were tears, but surprisingly (or maybe not surprisingly,) she was much more upset about losing an argument to her brother than about Father Christmas existence. Now hopefully she’ll believe everything I say when she starts dating. :-/

What Kind of Gift Wrapping Are You?

by Wanda on December 7, 2012

There are many ways to present a present. In my years as a gift-giver and gift-receiver I’ve compiled observations related to the different gift wrappings. Each type corresponds to a type of gift and a type of person that gives them.

1. The Tradition Patterned Wrap with a Bow

This wrapping says “I’m traditional. You can probably guess what I got you in five or less tries, since I’m not the type of person who would surprise you. I’m definitely going to wear a sweater at our holiday party.”

2. Eco-Friendly Gift Wrapping

This one says “I’m super into saving the world. Don’t worry about what materials are in the recycled wrapping paper, I’m certainly going to tell you about it. I probably got you something non-materialistic since I’m conflicted over the commercialization of the holidays. I probably have every specific dietary concerns, so don’t expect me to bring something normal to the potluck.”

3. A Festive Bag

This one is a tricky one and can mean many different things: “Either I’m lazy, bought this the last minute, I don’t know how to wrap a present, or the shop I bought the gift from happened to give me a gift bag.” It also can mean, “We might be new friends so I’m not sure if its appropriate to get you a gift yet, so I decided to keep it casual.”

4. Super Frilly Ribbons

“I’m an artist. My present was probably something that I matched to your personality or whatever I know about you. I take pride in my work as a present-giver. I will definitely be singing holiday music before, during, and after the holidays.”

5. Non-paper Wrapping

“I’m kinesthetic and abstract. I don’t care for numbers or hard facts. I like to be unconventional and unique. My present to you is probably something you’ve never heard of.”

6. No Wrapping

This probably means “We’re so close that we can be casual. Our relationship is also that where there are no expectations. I probably know you as well myself and got you what you really wanted. That’s why wrapping wasn’t necessary.”

A Festivus for the Rest of Us

by Wanda on December 5, 2012

The first Christmas after I got married, an aluminum pole similar to this one appeared in the corner of our living room

I knew my husband was a Seinfeld fan. I’m a fan of Seinfeld too. We watched plenty of Seinfeld reruns when we were dating. So I knew very well what the pole was for, I just didn’t think I’d ever see one in my home. No, it’s not for pole dancing. For the those who don’t know, the aluminum pole is part of the tradition of Festivus — a holiday created by Jerry Stiller’s character on Seinfeld. The idea behind it, was that he was sick of the commercialization of Christmas, so he created a “bare bones” holiday, “A Festivus for the Rest of Us.”

Despite being a joke, or maybe because its a joke, many people actually do “celebrate” Festivus. I searched around and found an entire community with a website and Facebook page for Festivus celebrators. Since it’s clearly an up and coming tradition, I decided to explain it to all of you, so you know what to expect if you see an aluminum pole in someone’s home. Some of you may even choose to celebrate. Here’s Festivus in a nutshell:

1) The Festivus Pole (pictured)

This is the Festivus counterpart to the Christmas tree. It represents de-commercialization and a “high strength to weight ratio.”

2) The Festivus Dinner

You gather the family on December 23rd. Festivusweb.com says the traditional dinner is spaghetti and meatloaf. I searched around and I don’t think there is any significance to the choice of food.

3) The Airing of Grievances

Each person goes around the table telling each family member how they have been disappointing the last year. This was definitely one of the funniest parts of the Seinfeld episode. Be careful with this one. We changed it to “Airing of Compliments” with the kids.

4) The Feats of Strength

“Festivus does not end until the head of the household is pinned.” The kids had a grand old time wrestling their dad. I went and took a nap.

Obviously its a joke holiday, but it can be a lot of fun. My husband still thinks its funny many years later, and the kids get a kick out of having a holiday before Christmas Eve that no one else know about. Mark your calendars for December 23rd!

Don’t Give Me That! (Worst Christmas Gifts)

by Wanda on December 3, 2012

Shopping season has begun. I actually wasn’t able to find too many great deals on Black Friday (yes I’m sure you’re tired of me constantly posting about Black Friday, but I’m obsessed with shopping and this is a discount site, is it not? :). Anyhow, as a mother, daughter, sister, godmother, aunt, and wife the hardest part is finding gifts that are good. We’ve all had our fair share of rotten gifts. Here’s a list of things I’ve gotten, and hope to never receive again. (I hope my in-laws are taking notes.)

Unique Socks. Yes thank you for really considering the warmth of my feet. But if you don’t buy your socks in bulk, it really stinks when you lose on in the dry. I have enough single polka-dotted, striped, pink, neon, frilly socks that I have no use for.
Sweaters. Can you be anymore cliche? Actually yes you can…
Fruitcake. The most cliche. I’ve never actually gotten fruitcake as a present, but I have a certain neighbor who loves giving baked goods. The only time to give someone something perishable, is at a potluck. My fridge space is limited.
Living Social/Groupons for dance classes. I don’t want to receive a present that forces me to do things. Oh and thank you for subtly telling me I can’t dance. (I will say that the hubby ended up loving this one.)
Cups/Mugs/Liquid-Holding Devices. My cup cabinet is already a potpourri of un-matching utensils. Unless it says “#1 Mom” I don’t really want another hodge podge drinking item. (Note to my kids, I don’t want a #1 Mom mug.)
Knick knacks. I had my husband install a shelf in a kitchen last year to display all the mini-plates and ceramic items I’ve collected. He said “Did we get a shelf to put your things on, or did you get things because I put up a shelf?” Yes, it’s getting crowded up there.
Anything Christmas-related (including the items listed above). C’mon. What good is a present that is only usable during the holidays? (Especially socks!)

In retrospect of creating this list, it’s much harder to find good presents that bad ones. It really is the thought that counts. I’ve been thinking hard, but still have a handful of people to get gifts for. Great. Socks for everyone!

Best DIY Holiday Desserts

by Wanda on November 30, 2012

There is only one thing better than eating the delicious treats of the holidays. Making it! Now that my daughter is old enough to follow directions, I now have two partners in crime to make a mess with me in the kitchen. I’m going to do my best to not indulge in carbs this Christmas, but that won’t stop me from still baking them! The process is what’s most fun. If you have kids, here are some awesome kitchen projects (links to my favorite recipes in the title):

1. Gingerbread house. They have kits with perfect formed pieces and decorations…if you’re lazy. The longer it takes to make, the
more fun it is to break and eat. I linked my favorite recipe. Let the kids draw up the design–my son loved that part. I just had to tell him to keep it to one story lol. Just a tip, don’t try to make it out of Graham crackers because 1) they are flimsy are crumble too easily, and 2) it won’t be a gingerbread house, it will be a graham cracker house.

2. Home Made Hot Cocoa. Literally the best substance to entice cold children back inside from the snow. You can also control the sugar levels without compromising flavor.

3. Egg Nog (nix the alcohol for the kids obviously). It saddens me how many people don’t realize the awesomeness of egg nog (with or without alcohol.) Store-bought egg nog tastes like paint. If you dislike it, try it home made. If you’ve had home made egg nog, and still don’t like it, come to my house of the holidays and guarantee you’ll love it

4. Microwave Fudge. I blame my sister-in-law for turning me on this. Like junkie who make her own drugs, I now have unlimited access to my vice, fudge. But the kids love it. This is by far the easiest recipe in the list.

5. S’mores bars. The comfort of summer bonfires in the cold winter. Make them at your own risk. Last time I made a plate, it didn’t last till the next day.

Have fun the kitchen!

Love Comes From Diapers

by Wanda on November 29, 2012

A few weeks ago, my husband and I started taking improv classes together in the evenings. I highly recommend extracurricular activities for all the married folk out there. Couples classes in particular are a great way to get away from the kids and learn something together. In the last couple years, Hubby and I have taken a few classes together and it’s really helped rekindle our friendship since the kids were born. It’s like we’re dating again, but that’s a whole different post…:)

This improv class is geared towards exploring the mind and having fun. A lot of the games we play aren’t even theater-related. One game we played was to simply have a conversation with another person on stage about what’s been going on our life that week. One girl, a very pretty one in her mid-twenties, spoke about how she just returned her dog to the pound. She explained that she didn’t realize how embarrassing it is to pick up a dog’s poop when you walk it. She just didn’t like the puppy enough to go through that chore every day.

Are you serious?!?!? That got me riled up. As some of you know, I recently took care of a very adorable puppy for a week, so I have some experience walking dogs and everything you have to do afterwards. Even I knew beforehand that cleaning up after a dog goes potty is not a very pleasant thing to do. I quickly calmed down my anger when I realized that this young woman doesn’t know any better. She doesn’t have kids yet. She hasn’t yet learned about wonderful phenomenon of backwards rationalization. You don’t have to love a puppy to want to pick up it’s poop. Picking up it’s poop is what makes you love it.

Let me throw some Psych 101 at you guys. (My mom will love that I’m finally using my Psychology degree.) Curbing a dog is not an activity that anyone in their right mind would choose to do on their own. But if you own a dog, it’s just something you have to do. So your subconscious starts spinning this line: “I don’t like curbing a dog, but I do it anyway. Therefore, I must really love the dog.” Substitute “dog” with “child” and you have the root of all parental love. You wouldn’t clean someone’s poop unless you really loved the pooper, would you? I didn’t think so.

When I was pregnant with my oldest, my mom told me, “you’re going to love the kid so much, you’ll even love his dirty diapers.” No kidding. Maybe not the actual diapers, but the metaphorical $h*% you have to go through is part of the joy. I think about all the messes and the stresses I’ve gone through as a parent, and how its only strengthened my bond with them. Dealing with kids troubles only makes you love them more. Although, at times, I certainly have wished for for three perfectly clean and well behaved angels, I wouldn’t trade my poopers for the world. I’m sure every mother feels the same.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I just heard my son break a window…

Where did Black Friday Come From?

by Wanda on November 23, 2012

I hope you all had a lovely Black Friday so far. Contrary to my Black Friday post, I took Dave’s advice and decided to Black Friday shop from the comfort of my computer chair. Letting the kids up past their normal bedtime/the thanksgiving feast last night kind of took the roller derby girl fight out of me. I took good advantage of this lovely day off making a pillow fort with my little ones and proceeded to take a nice long nap in it

While snoozing, I did start to wonder where the name “Black Friday” came from. I always assumed it was the name of some tragic historic event that American retailers recycled to spur shopping while everyone is in a good mood from Thanksgiving. I decided to do a little snooping and found quite a few “Black Fridays”:

October 14, 1881. a.k.a. “The Eyemouth Disaster.” 189 fishermen are killed by a windstorm in Scotland.
September 24, 1869. Speculators, Jay Gould and James Fisk cause a stock market crash in a scandal involving manipulation of the price of gold.
November 18, 1910. 300 unarmed women protest in the United Kingdom for suffrage. 200 of them were assaulted by the UK police.
January 13, 1939. One of the most brutal wildfires in history. Almost 5 million acres are destroyed in Australia.
February 9, 1945. An Allied air attack against the Nazi naval camp in Norway fails. 10 Allied aircrafts are lost.
October 5, 1945. An organized mob of set decorators on a six month strike riot through the Warner Brothers studios.
September 8, 1978. 64 peaceful protesters against the Shah of Iran are killed in Zhaleh Square by the military.
July 31, 1987. A tornado in Edmonton, Canada destroys over 300 homes.
April 15, 2011. United State v. Scheinberg rule against the major US online poker companies. Approximately $500 million of funds are seized and online gambling is made illegal.

Quite a downer. It seems like the historians got lazy and just named any bad event that happened on a Friday, “Black Friday.” Not all Black Fridays are bad though. In England, “Black Friday” also refers to the last Friday before Christmas which is the most popular days for holiday parties. “Black Friday” is also an alternative name for “Good Friday,” and the negative superstitions revolving “Friday the 13th.”

Yeah, on second thought, I’d rather just think of it as “shopping day.”

Have a great weekend everyone!

How to Maintain Sanity During the Holiday Season

by Wanda on November 21, 2012

Thanksgiving is coming. So are the religious holidays and New Years. This means many hours spent with people you love, reminding you why you don’t normally spend all day with them. If you’re a homebody like me, holiday parties can get aggravating. Here’s a list of ways I’ve learned to cope with weekends with the relatives/in-laws.

1. Pig out

As my grandma used to say as she heaped stuffing on my plate, “During the holidays, calories don’t count.” I don’t know what scientific backing my nana had, but I’ll take her advice anyway. Eat your pumpkin pie. Drink your egg nog. Don’t feel guilty, because as long as you’re with good friends and family, you can laugh it off. Besides, you can always go on a diet in January.

2. Remind yourself how you will miss them as soon as you leave

Up until a few years ago, my house was the one where the whole family assembled for Christmas. The entire time I would stress out and tell me husband “This is the LAST time we ever host Christmas!” Then a few days later I’d always miss everyone. Since he got married, my brother has been hosting Christmas, and I’m totally jealous.

3. Make sure you’re kids are building awesome memories

Remember those awesome holiday parties when you were a kid? Well, back then, your parents were probably stressing out the same way you are now. Your kids on the other hand, will only remember the good times with extended family when they’re older. Don’t forget that.

…and with that I must go tend to my pumpkin pie. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Dealing with the Dark

by Wanda on November 19, 2012

Why did we have to revert back after daylight savings? Whose idea was it to make five pm the time it gets dark out here on the east coast. I don’t like it. I hate the dark. I hate it so much that when my oldest said “Mommy, I’m afraid of the dark,” I wanted to say “Yeah, I know.” As I sit at my desk, hoping I can make it home before it gets dark, it made me think…

The convention of working nine to five was completely arbitrary. My husband used to work seven to three. I would pity him, but he’d say “what do you mean? I watch less useless late night TV than you, and spend more time with the kids in the afternoon.” He had a point. My youngest brother is right out of college and newly in the “real world.” He keeps complaining about how he spends all the daylight hours in the dark and is missing out all the “fun in the sun.”

Why is it “normal” to work during the day? Wouldn’t it make more sense for everyone to work from say, midnight to 8am, then we can enjoy the daylight when we got out? More than just warmth and fun, there are some serious health concerns for those who miss all the sun during the “nine to five.”

Vitamin D: Your body synthesizes this from sunlight. If you live in a colder climate and/or have darker, sun-blocking skin, you need to be aware of this! Take a vitamin D supplement in the winter. Vitamin D deficiencies are associated with pain reception, slower muscle healing (which is a big deal if you work out), asthma/respiratory issues, and even cancer!
Seasonal Affective Disorder: Do you become gloomy in the winter? You’re not alone. Many people experience lower energy levels, irritability, and depression during the colder months. Again, taking vitamin D and exposing yourself to sunlight and waking early to see dawn can help.
Trouble regulating body temperature: Our cavemen ancestors typically didn’t live in colder climates during the winter. Most research shows they migrating South like the birds. Since most of us are stuck wherever our home is, you can keep your body temperature up by eating regularly, staying hydrated, and wearing layers.

I hope this helps anyone else who misses summer like me. Maybe I’m just complaining because it’s Monday…

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