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New Year’s Superstitions

by Wanda on January 2, 2013

I spent this past New Year’s with my husband’s younger brother’s Manhattan loft overlooking the Empire State Building. It was certainly what we’ve been used to. The past few New Year’s parties we’ve gone to parties with my family. This party was full of younger couples and twenty-somethings. While it was refreshing to be around hip younger partiers for a change, it became apparent that my husband and I were some of the oldest attendees around 12:20 we had to pack up our sleeping kids (there were only a few parents at the party, and we were half of them.)
As mother elder, I got a chance to look towards some cute lovebirds in their habitat. At midnight, the entire party went up the roof to get a glimpse of the fireworks. Very romantic. While hubby and the kids and all huddling together in the cold, I eavesdropped on a short conversation between a boy and girl. They couldn’t have been older than twenty-five.
Boy: “Did you it’s good luck to kiss someone at midnight?”
Girl: “Is it really?”
(they kissed)
Boy: “By the way, I’m …”
Girl: “Nice to meet you. I’m …”
Hubby and I laughed out loud. Oh the kids these days. I guess when you’re young and drunk, classiness isn’t much of a thing. Anyway, that young man’s pickup line inspired me to write this post on New Year’s superstitions.
  1. Kiss someone at midnight. We all should be familiar with this one. It means good luck in your love life for the next year.
  2. First guest. The first person to enter your home after midnight determines the types of guest you’ll have all year. The ideal first guest should be bringing gifts :).
  3. New clothes. As part of a new beginning, one should wear new garments.
  4. Things stay in the house. While it’s good luck for people to come and go. No items should leave the house. Even the trash shouldn’t be taken out till the 2nd. This is allow proper transition.
  5. No house work. Doing chores on new year’s day suggest a year of toil.
  6. Foods to eat. Pork is supposed to bring prosperity (but not if you’re kosher.) This is because pigs supposedly dig forward when they eat. Chicken on the other hand is bad luck, because it suggests they “scratch the dirt” meaning struggling money-wise.
  7. Black-Eyed Peas. No, not the band. Eating the food will bring in prosperity.
  8. Drain the bottle. It’s good luck to finish a shared bottle on New Year’s.
  9. Yellow underwear. Yellow supposedly send out good social vibes and will help you find the love of your life.

On that, it seems all these superstitions are random acts to bring in money, or excuses for boys to get kisses from girls. I can’t blame them lol. Superstitions or not, cheers to you and yours for a wonderful 2013!

 

New Years Resolutions

by Wanda on December 31, 2012

Oh New Year’s Eve. The day we reflect on the past 365 days and consider how our lives have becomes better, worse, or just stayed the same. In an attempt to better our lives, it’s tradition to set our yearly goals to start only on January 1st of each year. This, of course, makes most gym owners very happy, as they get a huge influx of memberships, and in a month or two the gym is once again empty. Here is a list of all the resolutions I can remember in my life time. Some of them were accomplished, some weren’t, some were accomplished, but not that year.

  1. Be nicer to my siblings.
  2. Lose 10 lbs.
  3. Fall in love.
  4. Lose 20 lbs. (I had to make up for lost time.)
  5. Find a better career.
  6. Don’t lose my temper with the kids, or anyone for that matter. (Our temporary puppy helped.)
  7. Tell my husband I love him more often.
  8. Surprise my husband and the kids with cute notes in their lunches.
  9. Eat less sweets.
  10. Eat more chocolate. (Calories don’t count if you’re craving it :)
  11. Read at least 10 good books this year. (Um, do Dr. Seuss books to the kids count?)
  12. Gossip less.
  13. Gossip more. (Hey, it’s all about social cohesion, right?)
  14. Be more forgiving when people are a little late. (Sometimes I’m a schedule Nazi.)
  15. Don’t get any parking tickets. (Yeah, right.)
  16. Don’t keep any liquor in the house.
  17. Have a glass of red wine with the hubs a few nights per week.
  18. Call my parents more often.
  19. Finish my book.
  20. Smile every morning. (It makes a huge impact on your day.)

 

What’s everyone else’s New Year’s resolution?

One Role Doesn’t Define Your Identity, Moms

by Wanda on December 28, 2012

Little brother just stayed the holiday week with us. He’s not so little anymore. At twenty-four society says he’s an adult. Yes, society says so. I definitely do not. I love him and think he’s a great guy, but as the youngest amongst the siblings he was definitely coddled a bit much by our parents. I got a bit mad at him for setting a bad example for my three actual kids on how an “adult” is supposed to act. He stayed up super late each night watch TV. His reasoning: “I don’t know anyone in this city to party with with, so I might as well catch up on my television.”

A rough dramatization of how my brother spent his weekend “visiting my family”

Yes, he’s not a role model. Regardless, in the hours after the kids went to bed, and hubby and I went to bed, I caught quite a bit of my brother’s new favorite TV show, Sons of Anarchy. It’s a Sopranos-esque family crime drama around an outlaw biker gang. Not really my favorite setting, but definitely an interesting show. I found myself identifying with one of the main characters, Gemma, played by Katey Sagall (Peggy Bundy from Married, with Children.) Gemma plays the matriarch of the gang, kind of like a den mother to all the lost little boys in the gang. Her obvious main characteristic is her extreme devotion to family. I liked to see a strong female protagonist like that. One thing I didn’t like was a phrase she said in one episode which was basically that God’s sole purpose for her was to be a fierce mother.

That rubbed me the wrong way. My favorite thing about her was that she’s a fierce mother, but to say that was her purpose in life definitely devalues her character and perverts what it means to be a parent. That line was obviously written by a man. As a mother, I strongly identify with anyone who is proud of being a parent and considers parenting to be their number one priority. But to say that it’s your sole purpose? That’s a bit ridiculous. We all have multiple roles to play. You may be a mother, but you’re probably also a daughter, and a co-worker, and wife/girlfriend, neighbor, sister, citizen, bookclub member and so forth. Parenting probably is, and should be the most important, but the say that it the only thing in your life is to say your life is probably very boring. Besides, when you need a mini-break from the kids (as we all do sometimes), you better have another role to switch to. That’s all I’m saying.

Anyhow, that one line turned me off Sons of Anarchy. Back to Game of Thrones it is.

Gemma of Sons of Anarchy with her bad biker son

The Zen of Gift Giving

by Wanda on December 26, 2012

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas with your families. I certainly did. We had a very small gathering this year, just immediate family. The youngest woke us up in the living room pillow fort to open up present. Shortly after, my parents came over for Christmas breakfast, (although for old people like them, ten am is lunch.) We exchange more gifts with them.

There’s a funny thing about gift giving. One thing that never ceases to surprise me, is how it’s so hard to tell what people will like. I’m sure all parents have experienced ordering something that comes in a big cardboard box, and having your toddler spend all day playing in it, while he or she ignores the expensive toys you bought for them. What I didn’t expect was how it applies to adults, even old one like my dad.

My dad is a hard person to shop for, because all his hobbies are really specialized, and he’s got just about everything a guy could use for them. He’s not really into normal things. Each year, I think I get him the perfect present, and each year I find out that he doesn’t touch them. One time I got him a a DVD set of the speeches of a certain famous politician that happens to be Dad’s favorite speaker. When I visited him around Easter, I saw it was still in the plastic. Another year I got him the audio version of a Stephen Hawking book that he had been trying to finish reading for about six years. That was two years ago. He still hasn’t finished it. Finally this year, I’ve gotten tired of thinking too hard, and just got him the first book off the shelf that caught my eye. It was actually a two set of books, a thin book called The Tao of Pooh, and it’s big font sequel, The Te of Piglet. They are philosophical books that use A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh characters to show lessons in the eastern philosophy of Taoism. I honestly didn’t think Dad would care for it. He never uses any gift I get him. I got it because Dad used to read Winnie the Pooh  to my siblings and me growing up, and I figured it was a cute gesture, even if he never reads it.


Well guess what? Right after breakfast/lunch/brunch, he stuck his nose in it and started reading bits of The Tao of Pooh to my kids. Then long after my kids realized its not a regular Winnie the Pooh book and got bored, Dad continued to read it on my couch on his own. This morning, my mom called to say that Dad finished the first book already and was obsessed with it. Dad apparently loves the concepts of the book such as “effortless living.” Taoism (and Pooh) teaches to live without trying too hard to change what’s around you. Basically, they say to “go with the flow.” They say that you get the best results when you stop trying and just allow things to happen. Just like a kid in a cardboard box, Dad preferred the thing I didn’t put any thought into over all the presents that I planned very thoroughly. I guess the lesson is don’t think too hard, just do.

Unusual Christmas Eve Traditions

by Wanda on December 24, 2012

Christmas Eve is full of traditions at my house. Aside the family gathering and church, my favorites are the ones with the kids and Santa Claus. Each year since my oldest could talk, the whole family would camp out and wait for Santa to show up. By camp out, I really mean camp out. My husband and oldest need to make a “manly” exercise out of everything. Most of our bedroom supplies get recruited to build a monstrous blanket/pillow fort dwelling. The beauty of the tradition is that the kids always pass out before midnight. This year is different because my oldest probably could stay up past midnight if he tried, knows how to tell time, and doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, but he will totally continue the tradition with his siblings because he loves the fort-building part so much.

My family traditions certainly fall into the normal and mundane. I did some searching over the weekend to see what other traditions might be out there and found some pretty weird ones:

  1. The Night Tree– a tree decorated with sophisticated treats for all the animals to eat at night. This comes from the French belief that animals can think and talk like humans on Christmas Eve. The tree is a way to treat the smart animals before they go back to being dumb animals.
  2. In parts of Venezuela, they block off the streets on Christmas Eve so people can go to church in rollerskates. Clearly it doesn’t snow over there.
  3. One family from Colorado says they always get all-you-can-eat crab legs on Christmas Eve while wearing ski goggles (those crabs can squirt.)
  4. In old Norse folklore, it is believed that before Christmas, witches steal all the brooms they can get to ride around in the sky. Some Norwegians follow the tradition of hiding their brooms before going to bed.
  5. The wish bottle

    Some families place a “wish bottle” as one of the ornaments on the tree. You place one wish in it for the new year, then replace it the following year with a new wish.

  6. In many parts of the world, Christmas Eve is the best time to foretell your love life. Some believe if a single girl throws a ball of yarn in the air, when it hits the ground the resulting pattern should resemble her future husband. Hmm, whatever society came up with that tradition probably doesn’t have very good looking men.
  7. The Czech Republic is another place where people believe you can foresee your love life on Christmas Eve. Single women turn their back to a door and throw a show over their shoulder. If the shoe points to the door, they will get married within a year, if not, tough luck.

May all your family traditions, whether weird or ordinary, be fun and create wonderful memories. Merry Christmas everyone!

Winter is Coming

by Wanda on December 21, 2012

Obviously the title of the post gives away my location to a certain extent. Winter is already here for some of our audience already. Winter will never come for those lucky users down South. (We’re all jealous Miami, don’t rub it in.) But this post isn’t really about the changing seasons, though it makes sense. I’m more interested in the lesson from one of my favorite TV shows, Game of Thrones.

For those who’ve never seen it, Game of Thrones is about a medieval-fantasy world similar to Lord of the Rings. What makes it awesome is the Sopranos- like drama as feuding families strategize for power. Hence the title, a game for the throne. Each family has “words,” a motto that represents their geographic location and culture. The Starks, the main protagonist family, live up in the freezing cold north. Their words, very appropriately are, “Winter is coming.”

If you watch Game of Thrones, you’ll understand the humor of this picture. If you watch Game of Thrones, you’re missing out on one of the best TV shows of the generation!

Similar to the Ant in The Ant and the Grasshopper, the Starks place a high value in preparing for the tough times. It’s a ethic I seem to battle with, because constantly focusing on the worst thing to happen seems to be so pessimistic. The Law of Attraction folks would probably say “visualize that only good things happen, and they will.” Obviously that seems naive and hokey-pokey. Where do you place the balance?

Then I came across what’s called the “Desire Paradox.” This psychological phenomenon states that people enjoy unexpected fortuitous events way more than expected events. That’s why finding five bucks on the street feels way better than a two hundres dollar present that you were expecting. Those who prepare for the worst, aren’t necessarily Debbie Downers. By looking towards the worst thing that can happen, anything good that happens can be seen as an awesome upgrade. You basically downgrade what you consider to be the norm. For example, if you save for a major hospital bill, if nothing bad happens, you just saved an bunch of money for something else. Get it? Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to put on my snow tires. Winter is coming.

 

Old Wives’ Tales on Your Health

by Wanda on December 19, 2012

Last week I was bragging to my co-worker, Dave, about how I never get sick anymore– at the time it had been over two years since I’ve gotten the sniffles. I chalked it up to my fruit filled diet, positive energy, and fairly regular sleeping pattern. (If you’re keeping track, it’s been two years since I’ve had a child in diapers, hence the “fairly regular sleeping.” :)

A bit of karmic irony: I came down was a terrible cold last Friday night and am still recovering. My grandma would have said I became sick because I was bragging about never getting sick. I thought it would be fun to collect all the untrue old wives’ tales about health. Hopefully none will actually apply to you during the holidays.

  1. If you go outside with wet hair you’ll catch a cold. Colds come from viruses. Viruses actually spread more easily in warm climates. The reason people catch colds in the winter, is their immune systems are more heavily taxed as you body is trying to stay warm. Wet hair will cause more heat loss, but won’t “give you a cold.”
  2. Medieval Humours Theory

    You should starve a fever. This one comes from the medieval theory that health and temperament was determined by the “four humours” (liquids) in the body: black bile, yellow bile, blood, and phlegm. Sickness and bad moods were thought to due to some imbalance of the humours. A fever was supposed due to “too much blood” doctors of the day would prescribe fasting or blood-letting. I’m glad we’ve progressed since then. Today we know fevers can cause dehydration and electrolyte loss from all the sweating. If you don’t want to pass out, you better replace all that water and nutrients.

  3. You should feed a cold. This usually goes along with number 2 above. It also comes from the humors theory. They thought colds came from an excess of phlegm. That meant you needed to raise your blood levels by overeating. Eating too much can unnecessarily tax your digestive system and make it harder to focus on fighting the cold.
  4. Cracking knuckles causes arthritis. While a pre-cursor to arthritis can be that the failed joints crack on their own, deliberately cracking your knuckles doesn’t cause arthritis.
  5. You lose most of your body heat through your head. The major source of this old tale comes from experiments in the arctic where the subjects wore heavy winter gear and no head gear. Well if your entire body is covered except for one spot, where do you think the heat will escape from? Yeah, no kidding. Your head does release more heat than say, your feet, but it doesn’t release much more than your other organs.
  6. Sugar makes kids hyper. In the wake of Halloween, I had trouble accepting that this was just an old wives’ tale, but the science seems to make sense. Simple sugars in the bloodstream first go to the muscles to burned as energy. Excess sugar is stored in the liver as reserve energy for easy access. Any excess sugar becomes fat. Kids are already hyper. Eating extra sugar doesn’t suddenly make them more hyper, although the excitement of eating candy certainly can.
  7. Vitamin C cures colds. Here’s another one I struggled with adding to this post because I chalked up my previous cold-free streak with eating lots of fruits. This tale comes from chemist Linus Pauling who found that large doses of Vitamin C decreased the average number days a person is affected by cold symptoms in a year from 12 days to 11. While Vitamin C is certainly good for you, overdosing on oranges won’t suddenly make your cold go away.

Anyone have any old wives’ tales to share?

Habits, and How to Make Achieving Goals Easier

by Wanda on December 17, 2012

My husband is very big on self-improvement, productivity, and “life-hacking” as he calls it. It seems like every week he has a new crazy idea on how to improve his effectiveness by percentage. I know, what a geek. At least you don’t have to live with him. Here are some of his crazy ideas from the past few years:

  1. Taking short naps during the day instead of sleeping eight hours at night to gain 3 extra hours of work time each day.
  2. Putting butter in coffee to stop hunger and lose weight. (I know, gross.)
  3. Taking ice cold showers in the morning to supposedly increase testosterone.
  4. Holding books further away from you face so your eyes don’t have to move as much and you can read faster.
  5. Opening up multiple credit cards for “leverage against lenders.” (He and I had a huuuge fight over this one.)
  6. Setting a time limit on everything including social engagements. (I stomped this experiment out immediately.)

Although I think my husband is a complete weirdo a lot of the time, and most of these “life-hacks” he tries out are equally strange, I do admire his desire to always do things better and more effectively. Sometimes his experiments actually are effective. Recently he started using this iPhone app called Lift which tracks your habits each day. The idea behind the app is that you list your desired daily habits such as “Pack tomorrow’s lunch before going to bed” or “Don’t hit the snooze button in the morning” and each time you complete it, you give yourself a “check” for the day. As you build up your streak, it give you “points” like in a video game.

I don’t have a smart phone, but I liked what my husband was doing, so I tried the same thing with a calendar. I’ve been trying to write my novel for awhile now, but I keep getting distracted and going days without writing. I adapted the Lift thing to a calendar, which is actually already known to Life-hackers as the “Jerry Seinfeld technique:” Supposedly when Jerry was starting out he realized the only way to achieve success in comedy was to write great jokes. The only way to write great jokes, was to write a lot of jokes. He committed to writing jokes every single day. If he did, he’d draw a big red ‘X’ on his calendar. Visually, if he completed his task many days in a row, he’d have a string of x’s on his wall. The key was just to “keep the streak going.”

I’m now on a twelve day writing streak! Before I started tracking it with the calendar, I never got past four days. It’s amazing how “chores” become easy and more productive when it becomes an every day habit. I just started tracking my exercise in this way too– I’ll let you know how much weight I finally lose. Building habits really are the path to a better lifestyle. Ok, my husband was finally right on something. Let’s just not tell him that.

 

My actions are ruled by appetite, passion, prejudice, greed, love, fear, environment, habit, and the worst of these tyrants is habit. Therefore, if I must be a slave to habit let me be a slave to good habits. My bad habits must be destroyed and new furrows prepared for good seed. -Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman in the World

Boys vs Girls

by Wanda on December 14, 2012

A common question for those who haven’t had kids, is “Do you want a boy or girl?” As the mother of two boys and a girl I like to think its a silly question. Sons and daughters are both wonderful…and terrible. But then I realized, depending on your personality, you may prefer one over the other based on their pros and cons. My kids are still relatively young, but here’s a list of boys’ and girls’ traits as told to me by other mothers

Boys just do damage to your house that you can measure in dollars, like a hurricane. Girls, like, leave scars in your psyche that you find later, like a genocide or an atrocity… That’s the difference between boys and girls. -Louis C.K.

What the mother of a boy has to deal with:

  • Fighting
  • Broken objects
  • Aggressive-aggression
  • A greater empty nest syndrome
  • Making sure he’s a gentleman
  • The toilet seat up

What the mother of a girl has to deal with:

  • Drama
  • Passive-aggression (even with my five year old)
  • Manipulation of dads (even with my five year old)
  • Drama
  • Screening boyfriends
  • Menstruation and all the jazz (thankfully not something I have to deal with yet)
  • Did I mention drama?

But there is plenty of good stuff with each too. There’s nothing like the protective love of my momma’s boys, and my little lady is my partner in crime.

Things That Are Only Good in Small Doses

by Wanda on December 12, 2012

Once upon a time, I thought I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. I love kids and school, so it seemed like an obvious way to go when I was in college. I started the whole teaching path, and did my rounds as a substitute and part-time para. It didn’t take a full year before a realized a surprising truth: I only love kids in small doses. Here’s a few other things that are only good in small doses.

  1. Ice Cream. “I certainly would like to eat Braum’s French Chocolate Almond Ice Cream three times a day, but I don’t know how much I’d enjoy being 352 pounds.” -Zig Ziglar

    All she’s missing is a big red nose.

  2. In Laws. No kidding.
  3. Perfume/Cologne. Someone really needs to tell this to a certain young male co-worker of mine. Ahem.
  4. Parent-Teacher Activities. I like being active in my kids’ school, but some of us have lives outside of bake sales and conferences.
  5. The News. Being informed is one thing, getting caught up with all the nasty stuff in the world is something else.
  6. Rollercoasters. We wait two hours for a seven minute ride because that’s the ideal ratio to prevent throwing up.
  7. Fancy Desserts. To include Creme Brulee, Tiramisu, and all sorts of mousses. If you disagree see my post on Skittles.
  8. Muscles. (Don’t tell my husband though, he’s on “not enough” end.)
  9. Makeup. I can’t tell you how many clown faced young ladies I see hiding their real beauty. It’s gross.
  10. Technology. Maybe it’s ironic that I write this on the computer, but go out an get some sunlight people. Sun is a big deal for your health!

Anything I miss?