I was surfing online, and a headline caught my eye: “Are Female Breadwinners a Threat to Society?” Of course I had to click and read it, and of course I then had to write about it. This was a discussion on a recent episode of a news show. A ‘panel of experts,’ and I can’t tell you what type of experts because that’s all the article says, were asked whether marital problems could arise when a wife earns more money than her husband. Huh? Is this really a question in 2014? We can talk a lot about women and careers, but the simple truth is that today, most families need to have two incomes just to get by. So does it matter which part of the couple makes more money? It probably shouldn’t, but apparently, it does, or this wouldn’t have been a topic on a national news show.

The answers were interesting. One of the co-hosts said that a wife being the breadwinner in the family was bound to have ramifications if for no other reason than it is a challenge to conventional cultural norms. This led another co-host to wonder if it goes deeper than cultural expectations; could there be something biological at play, maybe an inborn need for a man to take care of his wife? A female member of the panel responded and said that even if that were true, there are other ways that a man can feel good taking care of his family- it shouldn’t have to be only about money. She said that maybe a man’s earning power is mistakenly tied up with his masculinity, and what he should work on is overcoming that kind of insecurity. The money/power/pride thing is created by our culture, too, so that may be easier said than done.

Are men afraid that society will look down on them if their wives earn more? It’s very possible that’s all it is, but cultural conventions change eventually. Not so long ago, women had to fight for the right to vote? Sounds ridiculous now, doesn’t it, but it was a real fight back then. Here’s something the article didn’t address- how many women also feel that  the man must be the breadwinner or the balance of the family will be thrown off? In the end, it’s probably all a question of attitude and also probably a pretty personal one, at that. Different things work for different families, and each family has to find its own comfort zone. In real life, though, someone has to pay the bills, so now might be the perfect time for society to work on an attitude adjustment.