Have you ever noticed how people like to point out the obvious? And usually something that can’t be fixed at the moment anyway? Like when you have an enormous zit in the middle of your forehead, so huge that no amount of makeup will hide it,  people actually say to you: “Did you know, you have a pimple right there?” Seriously? How could you not notice something the size of a small island right on your face? And you still can’t make it go away so now you feel self-conscious all over again.

Or how about this: when I was out and about with my crying infant, trying to finish up some errands and get home as quickly as possible, concerned citizens would look into the stroller and say: “Oh, the baby’s crying!” Really? I hadn’t noticed my baby was screaming her lungs out! “Why- is she hungry? Does she need a diaper change?” they’d go on.  I know a screaming baby is not music to the ears of other shoppers, but I don’t think they would appreciate my changing a smelly diaper and nursing right there in the produce aisle. And then there’s the the relative who meets you at the airport after an overnight flight to say “Oh my! What happened to your hair?” Unless you’re offering to help in some way, it’s probably better to just keep quiet. One of my friends likes to quote Thumper from “Bambi:” “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

And then, on the flip side of that, is the danger of erring on the side of too sensitive; do you mention something that can be fixed, even if it might be embarrassing to point it out? When someone has food stuck in his or her teeth, what do you do? Saying something might make the person slightly embarrassed, but it can easily be taken care of. I’m never really sure what to do in those situations, and I’m not really sure why. It’s embarrassing to have food stuck in your teeth, but it happens- so why is it a weird thing to point out? If you don’t it will stay there, making more people uncomfortable until someone else finally mentions it. Actually, it’s probably worse to look in the mirror at the end of the day to see lunch stuck in your teeth, knowing you were talking to people all day with that there. And how about when someone accidentally spits on you while speaking? That’s embarrassing, so  do you just ignore it, or do  you discreetly wipe it away? And what if you are the spitter, do you ignore spraying your friend, or do you apologize? What about just laughing about it? Would that make everyone less uncomfortable?

It’s funny how certain things work; how we determine what is embarrassing and what is funny, what’s taboo and what’s appropriate to mention. What do you think?