This morning’s yoga was particularly stressful for me. My daughter kept me up late into the night and I only had a few hours of sleep. I knew I had to rush home afterwards to pack lunches for school, then get to work…usual Monday. As soon as my alarm went off this morning at 5:45 I felt the anxiety of things I need to do today. I large part of me wanted to skip yoga all together. Somehow I ended up in the 6:30 am class anyway. Ten minutes into class was even worse. I was dripping with sweat, joints were burning, and my “to do” list was still rattling in the back of my head. Why did I put myself here in the first place?

Half Moon Pose. Only I don’t look nearly that good, and am in way more pain than this lady.

We were in half moon pose when my anxiety started to show in my face. I started to get mad. I was mad that I missed out on sleep last night because my daughter needed attention. I was mad that my husband doesn’t help enough to get the kids ready for school. I was mad that I had to go to work today. I was mad at my body for not being flexible enough. I was mad at yoga for existing. I was definitely mad at the yoga teacher for looking so darn happy causing my body such pain.

The instructor, Summer, came over with a gleaming smile on her face. I wanted to punch her. Then she said something that made me want to hug her (eventually): “How can you find peace here?” She elaborated, “Yoga is a ninety minute moving meditation. You move to limber your body, but also to limber your mind. Each pose is meant to be a different kind of mental discomfort. If you can find peace in these different contortions, you can find peace in the discomforts life throws at you.”

I took a deep breath and relaxed into the half moon. Yes it was uncomfortable, but I chose to be here. By “finding peace” in the posture, I can learn to enjoy it. It’s not really pain, it’s just another feeling.

When I got home I packed lunch and sat the kids for breakfast. My youngest spilled his cereal milk all over his school clothes. After a visceral stress response, I remembered: “How can I find peace here?” I took a deep breath, mopped him up, and got a new shirt. Life is not about eliminating inconveniences, it’s about relaxing into them. How can you find peace here?