I just went to an awesome workshop on female empowerment and relationships over the weekend. It’s run by a certain best-selling author of women’s empowerment books whom I prefer not to mention, but you probably know who she is. The room was full of strong-willed, feminine, and let’s say, excited, women. Even the most frigid person would warm up in this room.

The course taught us many great things on “training our man,” staying sexy post-child birth, and navigating the world as a powerful woman. One of the topics brought up often was a term called “tumescence.” Our instructor, who shall not be named, defined tumescence as any unwanted excitement. It is literally defined as “engorgement,” in other words, whenever you’ve had too much of something. It can apply to your relationships with people (husband, co-workers, children,) how you deal with stress, or even when you are over-stimulated by something. Tumescence itself isn’t a bad thing. All it is, is high sensation. What we need to learn to do is learn how to manage it properly. Properly managing this tumescence, or overstimulation can be the difference between smoothly getting through your week, and being stressed out till the weekend. In more extreme cases, it be the difference between placidity and nervous breakdown. Just about any discomfort, anxiety, or problem can be chalked up to mis-managed tumescence.

She-who-shall-not-be-named said that the first step in managing these sensations is to identify it. Most of us can’t deal with stress of anxiety properly because we don’t acknowledge, or notice when we feel it. As my little brother would repeat when he was a kid watching G.I. Joe, Knowing is half the battle. At my age, I notice this the most my overload, let’s say, 90%, comes from my children. In just the past 48 hours I have been able to point out at least 7 instances of “mommy’s going crazy.” Ten years ago, it was mostly work and relationships that caused my stressful moments. (I’ve trained my husband to only aggravate me 6%.) Just identifying what it is when you feel stressed is enough to reduce the stress a little. What “tumesces” you?