In dealing with stress overload the first step was identifying what sets us off. The next step is to recognize how we behave when we are stressed, our “tumescent type.” Tumescent types are not personality types, they are simply how we tend to react when we are over stimulated. You may find that you behave in all three ways at some point, but everyone has an outstanding behavior set when the “tumescence” gets really high. Many people recognize their stressors, but don’t notice what they are doing. Knowing your type helps you find the best way to deal with your stress.
Fixed: The fixed person responds to overstimulation by trying to create structure. This person hates disorder. He or she is usually triggered into stress by chaos and lots of moving parts. Common ways the fixed person deals with overstimulation is making lists, putting everything into a tight schedule, and doing organizational busywork. If you see yourself trying to create order when you’re stressed, you’re probably a Fixed type.
The antidote for a Fixed person is desire. Since this person fills up his or her day with busywork to feel safe, he or she needs to identify what he or she really feels like doing. The best way this person to de-stress is to stop planning and follow spontaneous feelings for awhile.
Dissipated: The dissipated person deals with stress by retreating. The common dissipated response to stress is “I don’t feel like doing this, so I won’t.” This person will run away from overstimulation. If he or she isn’t able to physically escape the source of stress, he or she will “check out” mentally. Excessive daydreaming is a common trait of the dissipator. If you find yourself thinking about other things when things get too much, you’re probably a Dissipated type.
The antidote for dissipation is simplicity. This person ends up with a head in the clouds because he or she can’t handle what’s going on on earth. Keep it Simple, Stupid. The dissipator needs to have less going on so he or she can focus on what’s in front of him or her.
Hyper-Volatile: The hyper-volatile tumescent type is all over the place. This person fights fire with fire. He or she will respond to overstimulation with more overstimulation. Emotional outbursts and random spontaneity are common reactions to stress. This person will keep adding fuel to the fire until it’s burned everything unless someone can cool him or her down.
The solution is attention. Kids tend to be more hyper-volatile around their parents. The hyper-volatile goes nuts because he or she wants to be seen. Quality attention is usually all a hyper-volatile to calm down and realize whatever the problem wasn’t a big deal.
What type are you?