Ok, my husband and I didn’t look quite this perfect (imagine this with me squirming and him yawning)
This past weekend I was at a workshop for a partnered meditation practice. My hippie-dippie sister-in-law recommended it to hubby and I. It seemed like new-agey nonsense at first, but I was interested in the concept. My husband on the other hand was totally checked out. He said it would be an “estrogen fest” but would go to satisfy me.
Basically the purpose was to create connection. Aside from the meditation we played many different communication games to get this room of 50 or so strangers to connect with each other. It seemed like an impossible task to me. Few of us are really “connected” to more than a handful of people: our families, our best friends, maybe a few co-workers. How many of us have real connections with people?
One communication game we played was called “hot seat.” One person volunteers to sit in the middle of the circle and anyone in the audience can ask the person any question. The person in the middle is encouraged to tell the truth, whole truth, and nothing but the truth for the purpose of removing his or her “filters.” Hubby nonchalantly volunteered as his way of asserting that this was a silly “estrogen fest.” Boy was he wrong…
What “hot seat” looks like
Without divulging the details, the questions he was asked were super intense and my “macho” husband was sweating and stuttering like a, well, little girl. I couldn’t wait to get in the car ride home and tease him about how he couldn’t handle and “estrogen” fest. But once we got out he blurted out how enlightening the experience was and how connected he felt to the rest of the room. What?!?! Not my football-watching, beard-wearing, grunting, stoic husband who refuses to dry his hands with a hand towel that’s too girly. He felt “connected” to a room of strangers??I couldn’t believe this group of hippie-dippies (I use the term affectionately) was able to humble my “macho” husband.
The lesson I took from it was this. We all crave connection. Most of us don’t get to connect with strangers because, like Hubby, we put up these filters to appear stronger than we are. The downside is, when you walk around hiding your true self, you eliminate your chance of bonding with people easily. If we could all open up and show our true vulnerable selves, we all would be much more connected. How often to you filter yourself to the world?
