The lovely lady to my left is very sneezy today. Here at MSD, the entire office is in a circular formation, so ay sneeze is audible to everyone. When someones sneezes multiple times in a group setting there is a typical pattern:
First sneeze: The closest co-workers (in terms of both proximity and friendship) say “bless you.’
Second sneeze: The rest of the office says “bless you.”
Third sneeze: The blessers of the first two may say it again. The people who wait till all the sneezing to finish finally give their blessing.
Fourth sneeze: Come on now. Most will probably pretend they didn’t hear it. Someone may say “BLESS you” in a funny/sarcastic way.
Fifth sneeze: Now this is just ridiculous. At this point the sneezer should just apologize lol.
Why do we say “bless you” anyway?
Milhouse from the Simpsons said “When you sneeze, that’s your soul trying to escape. Saying ‘God bless you’ crams it back in!” That’s not too far off. The earliest usage of the phrase came from the time of Pope Gregory the Great. At that time, a sneeze was a possible sign of contracting the bubonic plague. A sneezer should be blessed hopefully avoid the plague.
But condolences have been given to sneezers prior to that. The ancient Romans would say “Salve,” or “Jupiter preserve you.” In Arabic it’s “Alhamdulillah,” “praise be to god.” In Russia they say, “bud zdorov,” “be healthy.”
Gesundheits and the like all seem to stem from the fact that ancient people weren’t totally sure what a sneeze’s purpose was, but all seemed to agree it was something bad. Nowadays we may look at a sneeze as nothing to concern ourselves with, however prior to modern medicine, it wasn’t uncommon for people to die from minor illnesses. At one point, a sneeze was a huge cause for concern. Now we know that sneezing is the body’s way of expelling a toxin or germs. Since this is healthy, we should probably change “bless you” to “congratulations.”
Anyhow, I guess I’ll keep saying “bless you” till she stops sneezing. Not because she needs to be blessed, but because my other co-workers are tired of acknowledging the sneeze, and someone probably should.